Bridging the gap of Uncertainty: growing old

growing old

Dear Bloggy,

Today, for the first time in my life, I help to change grandma's diaper and changed her clothes. (The maid went home for a day, will be back tomorrow). After more than 5 years, I helped. It was difficult.. But you know what, I didn't mind. She's my grandma after all..

Before things are the way it is today, opah was a lively woman. No man, woman or child can stop her if she wants to do something. U want a cake? She'll bake it. U're crying coz no one is at home? She'll take a plane and fly to your aid. My grandma is amazing. Yup, she still is.

It all changed 7 years ago. It was the year of 2004. Opah did her yearly medical check up when doctor advised her to go under the knife due to a blocked artery in her heart. So after a long discussion with all the family members, she agreed and signed the papers. After a few terrifying hours in the operating room, she came out; doctor said it was a success but they're gonna put her in the ICU anyway for observation purposes.

Things were looking great- the operation was successful, opah was brimming because her health is getting better (meaning more cakes and sweets and butter for her ^^).

What could possibly go wrong?

YES.

That taboo sentence.

When opah was in the ICU, one of her old friends visited her. They haven't seen each other in years! There was hugging and crying and laughing... Suddenly, the worst happened. Opah had a stroke due to the emotion build up. Apparently it was too much for the heart. Doctors were bustling about and nurses were shoo-ing us away. What happened next was a blurr but opah was never the same.

Years had passed since that incident. But that few minutes had changed soo many things; Raya hasn't been the same, going back kampung was never the same. Opah now requires a wheelchair to go around and someone constantly tending to her needs. She's paralyzed on her left side..

Seeing her immobilized, my once strong willed opah..helpless, breaks my heart. She was ashamed when I helped with the diaper just now. I wanted to tell her "opah, you've helped with mine countless of times when i was small. Let me help you now" but I was afraid that I'd start to cry so I didn't. All I said was,"it's gonna be okayh. See opah see? Senang je ni.. Jangan risau la opah, adik kuat je :)"

Growing up and growing old is not a scary process. It is in fact, the most enjoyable thing you can experience. Everyone will age. It's how you feel inside that determines whether you're "young" or "old". Opah was lucky to have found the man she love, married him, lived with him and grow old together.

Me?